


make my messes matter, make this chaos count

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Series: what if we were the hurricane; our bodies, the wind [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Returns, FLUFF NOTHING BUT HAPPY FLUFF, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucky - Freeform, steve writes poetry, stucky fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[let every little fracture in me shatter out loud]</p><p>poetry by Steven G. Rogers 2014-2015</p><p>sequel to http://archiveofourown.org/works/5223779</p>
            </blockquote>





	make my messes matter, make this chaos count

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to M4xD who inspires me to give them happier endings, thank you xoxo

**Poetry by Steven G. Rogers**

* * *

  **2014**

 _Every blade of grass_  
_Bears our mark_  
_In the name of being brave,_  
_Though it's just another word for being afraid_

[[listen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwH33eS1DcE)]

 

1\. you know I've never been one to leave things up to chance

but my back is against the wall and it's all I can do not to turn the lights out and forget everything 

but you

you make me want to polish every lucky penny and line my pockets with wishing wells

 

2\. I think I'm okay

I think I'm alright when my feet are pounding the pavement

fingers gripping a shield like it's my only lifeline

when I'm busting through doors to find no trace of you

I think I'm okay...until two a.m.

 

3\. cold sheets wrap me up like the dead

like the dead that I should be

like a steel trap and I can't seem to wake up from this nightmare

like cold beer in a hot bar with your eyes on my lips

like I'll never love again

 

4\. they've got hot food at the touch of a button now

lo mein noodles and pepperoni pizza

breadsticks and soft shell tacos

but I keep hungering for boiled potatoes in chipped bowls

and the soft intake of breath behind my back

on a mattress made for one

 

5\. she knows you, she told me so

she speaks of a version of you I hardly know

with steel blue eyes and no fight left in his body when they dragged him away

she says you asked for me until they silenced you

and then you spoke no more

* * *

  **2015**

 _When we grew up,_  
_Our shadows grew up too_  
_But they’re just old ghosts_  
_That we grow attached to_  
_The tragic flaw is that they hide the truth_  
  
_That you’re enough_  
_I promise you’re enough_

[[listen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP28Psjp7OE)]

1\. it's a slow build, this love

it's the feeling of your head on my shoulder

when you trust me enough to fall asleep on

it's greeting the sun with beautiful words like _do you remember when?_

it's beauty and it is madness

it's you and me until the end

 

2\. I woke up this morning to the sound of thunder and your head on my pillow

you must've slipped in when I was sleeping

just like you slipped into my heart without my permission

but then again they both belong to you

 

3\. what if we were the hurricane

our bodies, the wind

what if we stood in the middle of it all

with houses made of dirt swirling around us and under our skin

under the freckles on the curve of your back

under the smoke and into the fire

what if we let it happen

what if we could be that?

 

4\. you wait for so long that you learn to appreciate the small things

and never anticipate the ones that might never happen

so maybe that's why I almost didn't believe you when you said

_I feel like I've been running after you my whole life and if there's a finish line_

_I don't want to find it_

maybe I was afraid but with your shaking hand in mine

and your mouth warm against my own

I knew it was worth waiting for

 

5\. Two thirty in the afternoon, Brooklyn New York

[Clovers Fine Art Gallery](http://www.yelp.com/biz/clovers-fine-art-gallery-brooklyn?osq=Inexpensive+Wedding+Venue)

Natasha as the maid of honor, Clint at her side

fifty guests and two cakes - [one](http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/dark-chocolate-wedding-cake-with-chocolate-orange-ganache-and-orange-buttercream-13244) dark chocolate with chocolate orange ganache/orange buttercream

the other with red white and blue frosting -two stars on the top in lieu of figurines - a gift from Tony

teary speeches and vows

fingers intertwined with matching rings engraved with the words _'till the end of the line_

lips stained with wine and kisses

the names Barnes-Rogers on every invitation

_today, we don't have to fall apart_

_today, we start over_

**Author's Note:**

> title and the quote in brackets is from "Jupiter" by Sleeping at Last


End file.
